So after 3 years in Istanbul (to the day) I finally decided to branch out into the world of 'The Saudi Ex-Pat'. I really didn't know what to expect. I had done a little scouting around Google to see what exactly I was getting into. Most of the info seemed to be a bit out of date. Some people told me not to trust the Arabs others told me not to trust the other ex-pats. Here begins the story of my experience as 'Garrence Of Arabia.' I will try to write something every day if not simply as a living memoir of my trip, then as a help to anyone else that may be considering the move here.

I boarded the plane from Istanbul at 21:30 and left everything I know about middle eastern culture in the departure lounge of Atatürk International. The plane was a little older than I had experienced in using Turkish Airlines over the last 3 years. I didn't actually notice how old the 737 was until three hours into the flight and after 2 hours of iPhone gaming I decided I'd better recharge said mobile device in case I needed it, should my driver not appear at the arrivals gate. Was there a USB socket next to the headrest entertainment centre? What entertainment centre? The in-flight entertainment (outside of iPhone land) was (what I would guess from odd grabbed images as I looked up from my detective game which was greedily guzzling battery power) a highly inappropriate sexually charged romantic comedy.

After a panicked scan of the cabin I had decided earlier when the first flash of semi nudity caught my eye on the drop-down screens, that there were no Saudi present on the flight as everybody was dressed in western dress and were as equally engrossed in their various Apple devices as I. I took this picture of the city as we came in to land on my iPhone.

After landing and a short taxi to the air bridge everyone stood up. To my surprise the plane was now full of ladies covered head to foot in beautifully embroidered black silk and cotton dresses. Faces were covered and the men were in immaculate white cotton gowns and were wearing the familiar red-check head dresses. We had arrived.

There was a very short walk to immigration and an immaculately dressed young soldier politely answered my concerns about not having been given a landing card on the aeroplane, 'It is absolutely no problem sir..no problem sir..welcome!'
I had read horror stories on google about people being chastised for not filling in said card. I can confirm that there (at this precise moment) no longer a landing card. It would seem that Saudi is far more advanced technologically than the UK. (The USA has also re-moved the landing card for those on visa waiver who have previously registered online).

The next hurdle I had been warned of was getting through customs with my books and electronic devices in-tact. I have a full collection of Penguin classics in my case and was particularly worried about the Marx and Trotsky volumes maybe being on the 'throw in the bin list' as I haven't gotten around to reading any of them. I was the first passenger from my flight to go through the x-ray machines and all of my bags passed through with no problem. Just as I was thinking 'people do exaggerate on the Internet' I passed an office where a rather fat American man was stood in his boxer shorts holding two computer magazines covered in black marker pen and almost crying whilst being shouted at by some equally large bearded gentleman in a pristine navy blue suit and hush puppies who was temporarily my comedy hero. Surreal moment one!

I walked out of the gate and was met by.....nobody. No problem... I have my iPhone and will just call my new boss. 'No battery!'...... 600 offers of Taxi (but I don't know where I am going) later... I found a business center hidden away in the terminal and managed to bang out some emails about how unhappy I was at being left at the airport in a dangerous country for 3 hours without message or hope. The second I stepped out of the internet area I saw my name printed on a board and my driver appeared with apologies about forgetting his ID card. Its amazing how easy it is to totally forgive somebody that you wanted to skin 5 minutes earlier once they become a sentient being with the directions toward your bed.

We drove through Riyadh and I was blown away by the huge size of it and how clean it looked compared to the filthy streets and crumbling badly built houses of Turkey. We passed several cars being power-drifted/ slid around the city centre roads expertly by who I was informed, were the children of the mega rich, just as an Audi TT slides inches away from us at 70 MPH and ends up on the other side of the immaculate high street facing the opposite direction as it was a split second ago.

30 minutes later I was in my accommodation for the next two and a half weeks of seminars, a serviced apartment with all mod cons which is a little like a bed-sit with posh curtains and furniture. After a 7 hour sleep I am now thinking about venturing out and seeking food. Its the sabbath today (Friday) so will anything actually be open? Can I drink the tap water? Are any of my colleagues
staying in the same building? Can I walk safely down the street? The answer to all these questions and more....later.. I'm Hungry.